User Profile

This Blog is mostly about the ridiculous stuff that happens to me. Once in awhile, I'll write something depressing, just to keep you on your toes. I rarely comment in people's journals, but I do read them. I'm trying to get better about writing more often, but you just can't make ridiculous stuff happen. I write a lot of "friends only" posts because I don't want my mother, or my clients, or my ex boyfriends, or my dog reading this stuff sometimes. Rarely are my entries over a page. I do not blog about every day boring shit, which is why you won't see me writing all that much. I'm in trouble when I write every day, because that means shit has hit the fan.

I live in the Atlanta, but I am from Colorado. I went to elementary school with one of the creators of South Park. There is nothing in South Park. Our actual elementary school, in Conifer, Colorado, was bulldozed a couple of years ago to make way for a four-lane highway. Three or four of those characters on there are real people, including Mr. Mackey who was our guidance counselor really named Mr. Lackey. I spent a lot of time in his office. There is a great universal understanding -- I have fun birthday parties. I celebrate my birthday for about a month, like Mardi Gras if you will. I have just recently started lying about my age, but trust me I can pull it off. I am terrified of chickens - they are evil fuckers. Also, I cuss like a sailor. I let my dog sleep in my bed and he's pretty big. He is also constantly running for Mayor of Cabbagetown, Gerogia where I live. But to me, he's just a really happy furry dude. My goal one day is to get an enormous king-sized bed. Tempurpedic. Did I spell that right? If you come to my house you will always find something good to eat -- except right now. I have a mean cat. Atmosphere is everything to me, and I will leave the instant it sucks. Beware... I am a hugger. I also like to bop around and not stay in one place for very long. My feet are often dirty because I walk around barefoot most of the time. They are dirty, yet my feet are model-rific. I mean I have some hot-ass feet. I should insure them. They might be my best feature. My best and my worst feature I guess. I would say that I'm like a tootsie pop, hard on the outside, gooey on the inside. Or an eclaire maybe? Or a lobster. I tend to dance around naked to old soul music late at night. Sometimes my curtains are open and that must be why my hairy-backed neighbor smiles at me kind of creepily. According to my sisters, I am boy crazy. This might be true as I tend to date men that are way too young for me, but it does allow me to have a lot to write about in this blog. I hate to iron. I get right to the point. . I like fart jokes. I am not proud of this. And lastly, I take plenty of vitamins every day.